January: A Month in Review

Despite how some of the massively depressing entries I wrote in January, the month wasn't a total loss.  I got my first two full critiques of my novel, and I'm making (some) headway in the revision process.  I'm working on a novella to ease the brain detritus while I slog my way through revisions.  And the combination of crappy weather and emotional crises meant that I spent a lot of time at home, reading.

I did a lot of reading in January.

I discovered Samhain Publishing this month, after their website reboot prompted a lot of chatter on my Twitter feed.  This month, I think I single-handedly put at least one or two children of Samhain staff members through college.  And maybe graduate school.  Samhain has a fantastic selection of all kinds of romance.  My particular poison is paranormal romance, and they've got oodles.  In the mood for shapeshifters?  Vampires?  Demons?  Angels?  Other heterofore unnamed paranormal creature?  Samhain has it.  Perhaps heterosexual, vanilla sex isn't your thing?  Samhain has a great selection of romances featuring all types of relationships (M/F, M/M, F/F, M/M/F, M/F/F, etc.--I'm sure there's a few combos I missed), heat levels, and degrees of kink.  In addition, if you're not feeling up for a full-length novel, they feature a lot of short novels and novellas.  (Longer titles are featured in both print and e-book format, whereas shorter titles are e-book only.)  The site is user-friendly and easy to navigate.  I really ought to send them a thank-you letter or something: these books were exactly what I needed in January.

In addition to my recent discovery of Samhain because my Twitter peeps talked it up, I have also gladly discovered the works of KT Grant and LA Dale.  KT Grant's novella, For the Love of Mollie, was a fun, sexy romp about a slightly overweight, more-than-slightly insecure woman who falls for a sexy gym owner.  I loved reading about a heroine who wasn't the magazine-model image of beauty.  (Or, as I more often see in romances, the woman who thinks she's not conventionally beautiful, but actually really is.)  Also, there's a lot of sexy scenes contained in a very short space.  A very fun read.  (Also, I love this cover.  It's exquisite.)

LA Dale's Perhaps ... Perhaps was a funny, charming story about an Australian schoolteacher who falls head-over-heels for the new principal.  I loved watching the evolution of the protagonist, Flora, as she went from shy and neurotic to strong and confident.  I also liked how Dale's characters behaved like real people, rather than the archetypical ways romance novel characters usually behave.  It made them frustrating at times--but also more realistic.  I wanted to strangle the hero a couple of times, and I wanted to smack the heroine upside the head.  But people in real life aren't perfect.  Nor should they be in romance.  (Also, confession: I dig Australian accents.  I blame it on my tendency to watch foreign TV shows as a child--thanks a lot, Spellbinder!  Also, Ingo Rademacher on General Hospital during my high school years--yummy!  But whatever.  I dig Australian accents.  I think they're crazy sexy.  I could listen to an Australian man reading the phone book and it would sound like poetry to me.  Getting to imagine an entire book full of a sexy man saying sexy things in an Australian accent was icing on the cake for me.  And yes, I have a very vivid imagination!)

A book I loved this month (that I've already mentioned):  So I was completely and utterly enamored with Shadowfever by Karen Marie Moning.  It was always the mystery that propelled me through this series, and I felt like Shadowfever tied it all together well--with just enough ambiguity that I didn't feel the ending was "too pat."  From what I've read on blogs and review sites these past several weeks, the reaction was more mixed than I realized when I wrote about it a few weeks ago.  (Actually, I was writing about rude people on critique sites and their utter inability to allow for dissention, but that's not the point.)  From what I can tell, it seems like the people who loved the first four books in the series also loved Shadowfever.  The people who didn't like them or felt ambivalent were less inclined to like it.

I guess you know where I stand.  I'm hooked.  And pretty soon, I suspect I'm going to read the books again just so I can go on that journey again.  (And yet again, I discovered the series through Twitter.)

A book I loved this month (that I haven't mentioned):  Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare.  I've moved away from the YA genre a lot in the past year, mostly because I was tired of reading about protagonists who were a decade or more younger than me.  But I loved Clare's Mortal Instruments series.  It was just so fresh and fun.  Clary was such a great heroine, and...well, if I'm being completely honest, Jace is the guy I'd have a crush on (but never manage to work up the nerve to ask out) if I were 10 years younger.  Tortured--check.  Brooding--check.  Self-depricating humor--check.  Tousled hair--check.  He's the perfect teen hero, angry but never angsty, intermittently sweet but never sappy.

I follow Clare on Twitter, and I started noticing quite a bit of chatter about her other book, Clockwork Angel, which takes place in the same world as her Mortal Instuments series but 130 years earlier.  It sounded intriguing, so I came out of my YA-free cave and took the plunge...and it was awesome.  With its combination of otherworldly fantasy and steampunk sci-fi, Clockwork Angel creates an aesthetic that is even more unique than the Mortal Instruments books.  Twists and turns kept me guessing until the end.  And once again, we're treated to a tortured teen hero: Will Herondale.  At first wisecrack, he seems similiar to Jace in a lot of ways.  Then I put two and two together and realized he was an ancestor of Jace's (though I haven't yet figured out how they're related).  The apple, it don't fall far from the tree.  And thank goodness for that!

The bad news is the sequel, Clockwork Prince, doesn't come out until September 2011.  The good news is that I also realized The Mortal Instruments is not a trilogy!  The fourth book, City of Fallen Angels, comes out in April.

Seems that I may have to end my self-imposed YA moratorium--at least for Cassandra Clare.

Lesson of the Month:  Twitter matters.  There's a lot of junk on there, natch, but there's also cool stuff to be discovered.  I love finding new authors, new publishers, and new books.  The sheer volume of new and exciting material I've found this month, as a result of Twitter, has made me very happy.

Musings about the Fever series and speculations about Shadowfever

For those of you who haven't read the Fever series, this post will be spoilery.  Like, major spoilery.  But it's my blog, and I can do that.  So instead, I recommend you go read my article over on CC2K about why you should read Karen Marie Moning's Fever series.  Then you should go read it.  Then you can come back.

So I've been trying to comment on a few of the blogs that have had Fever discussions and Shadowfever speculations, and have thus far been unsuccessful.  So either I lack the technological competence to figure out how to comment, or Blogger's comment feature just sucks.  I'm tending to think the former rather than the latter, given that several people have had difficulty commenting on my blog.  Though I am pretty technologically incompetent.

But then I realized: I have my own blog!  And nothing feeds into our societal self-indulgence like talking to yourself!  (And God knows I've been doing that for a very long time.)  So I'm going to post my musings and speculations here.

BIG HUGE GIGANTIC SPOILER WARNING HERE

I think the Beast (the one killed at the end of Dreamfever) is Barrons.  But I don't think Barrons will stay dead.  Why do I think it's Barrons?  Because there are very few characters whose death could make Mac believe she had lost everything.  Alina, maybe--but she's already dead (as far as we know), and Mac definitely pointed out the Beast was male.  Her father?  Doesn't make sense; why would he be there all of a sudden?  And why would he be Barrons' beast?  Christian MacKeltar?  She might be upset about his death, but I don't think she's close enough to him to believe that she'd lost everything at his death.

Why do I believe he won't stay dead?  There's a few reasons behind this (i.e. my belief that Barrons won't stay dead) besides desperate, hopeful speculation.  Swapping out my fangirl hat for my critical one, Barrons being dead dead just wouldn't make any sense.  There's too much we don't know about his character.  Plus, he's been set up as a romantic interest for Mac for the last four books.  To kill him off so abruptly just doesn't make sense, especially since Moning has promised (at the end of the very dark Faefever, I believe) that there is light at the end of the tunnel.  Story-wise, it just doesn't make sense.  Second, one of the things I've gotten from reading Moning's Highlander series is that time, in this world, is a mutable concept, and that the past can be changed.  It's been mentioned that the Fae once had the ability to travel through time, but this has been lost.  When someone (V'lane, I think) mentioned this in the Fever series, I had the impression it had been lost for a very long time.  But from reading the Highlander series, I get the impression that they had the ability up until quite recently.  The LM--if we believe him--has already said he can bring Alina back.  Why not Barrons?

So I don't think Barrons will stay dead forever.  But I think he may stay dead for awhile.  (Much as I don't want him to.)  Mac has grown and evolved a lot as a character throughout the series.  But one thing has been constant: Barrons has always had her back.  So by being forced to go through the final part of this journey without Barrons, she completes the character evolution that began in Darkfever.  She's already become a much stronger, more self-sufficient person.  Without Barrons, she'll be forced to become completely self-sufficient.  And really, if she's going to have a happily ever after with Barrons, she'll need to be the kind of woman he can go toe-to-toe with.  (Why do I keep thinking of that scene in Star Wars where Darth Vader and Obi-Wan fight, and Darth Vader says something like, "When we last met, I was but a student.  Now I am the master."  My mind is a weird place to live.)

I think Mac has misjudged Barrons.  Big time.  Mac has said, over and over and over again, that she doesn't trust Barrons.  And, sexy as he is, she's not being totally unreasonable.  He's lied to her a lot.  He's not forthright about himself, his motives, or his past.  She's in a strange place, where she doesn't know anyone, and her sister has just been brutally murdered.  No wonder she has a hard time trusting anyone!

But actions speak louder than words, Mac, and Barrons' actions have spoken volumes.  He's the one who's always protected you, always had your back.  He gave you a job, and sheltered you when you had nowhere to go.  He gave you a friggin' CAR to drive, a really expensive one, and guys are really protective of that kind of stuff.  Oh, yeah, and he offered to turn the bookstore over to you.  He cares about you more than you know.

He's not so great with social nicetites, I'll admit.  When he left you breakfast in front of your door on the first night you spent in the bookstore, you thought he was saying, "Don't make yourself too comfortable."  I think he was trying to be nice, in his gruff, hardass sort of way.  And that tattooing you without your permission...yeah, I wouldn't be cool with that either, but he was trying to protect you.  And he tore up the bookstore when you were gone and he couldn't find you.  It's sort of sweet, in a jackass kind of way.

Yeah, he can be a jerk.  (I wanted to hit him after the cake incident.)  But I don't think you were ever just a tool to him, as much as he tried to convince you otherwise.

Speaking of Barrons, I have to admit: I had some trouble initially with the way things played out between Barrons and Mac when she was Pri-ya.  But I don't anymore.  I read chapters 4 and 5 several times--and not just because I liked the sexy bits.  Mac was Pri-ya when Barrons rescued her, and I was surprised to discover that, during her recovery process, they were having sex.  Lots of it.  Mac wasn't really Mac, and she couldn't actually consent to what was happening.  Why would he take advantage of her in that state?

But I don't think he did.  Looking back, I think Barrons realized that the only way to pull her out of that state safely was to give her what she wanted--at the time, lots and lots of sex.  And Barrons has always been a bottom line, end justifies the means, kind of guy.  Mac notes that Barrons seems "torn" in his desire toward her; I think that's partially why.  He knows rational Mac would never consent to this, and he feels, on some level, like he is taking advantage of her.  ("One day you'll wonder whether it's possible to hate me more," I think he says.)  But I also think there's a part of him that wants to keep her safe in that room, doesn't want to give her up.  And he could have.  But he kept fighting to get her back to herself, knowing it would cost him Mac in the end.  *Sigh*

If Barrons just wanted the Sinsar Dubh, he could have used Mac while she was Pri-ya.  If he just wanted to have sex with Mac, he could have kept her Pri-ya and had himself a very nice and willing fuck-buddy.  Instead, he dragged her back kicking and screaming.

And she was, indeed, kicking and screaming.  The other thing the re-read showed me was that Mac didn't want to leave the room with Barrons.  So much had happened to Mac over the course of the three previous books, the worst of which was becoming Pri-ya.  She was broken.  The room was her safe place, her cocoon.  Whereas what happened with the Unseelie princes was shameful and degrading, what happened with Barrons was not.  Barrons, and that room, was what kept her safe from the monsters.  I think that's why it took her so long to come back.

Mac's conversation with Christian MacKeltar really got me.  Nothing that happened with Barrons had been nonconsensual.

Okay, do I have anything to speculate about that isn't Barrons related?  Well that just isn't as much fun.

I think Mac may be the daughter of the Unseelie King and his mistress.  She dreams of a cold woman.  Maybe she was born in the mirrors?  That would explain her newfound abilities.  Plus, it would likely make her immortal, or at least much longer-lived.  And since Barrons is, I believe, immortal, or nearly so...

Oh, crap, there's Barrons again.

I don't think the LM killed Alina.  There!  I got one.  I don't know who killed Alina, but I don't think it was the LM.

I think I'm going to go through an entire box of Kleenex tomorrow reading the book.  The whole series has been an emotional roller coaster.  Methinks this will be worse.

There's a wintery mix heading my way tomorrow.  I seriously hope my office is closed.  I don't think it will be.  But a girl can always dream.

What I'm doing while I wait for Shadowfever

When I was at home for Christmas, I discovered Karen Marie Moning's Fever series: Darkfever, Bloodfever, Faefever, and Dreamfever.  The final book, Shadowfever, comes out January 18.

I'm hooked.  I blame Twitter.

See, I had never heard of these books until a few weeks ago, when my Twitter page suddenly exploded with people talking about it, obsessing about what would happen in the final book, raving about their crush on a fictional guy named Jericho Z. Barrons.  ("What the hell kind of name is Jericho Z. Barrons?" I thought.)  But that's what I get, I suppose, for populating my Twitter follows with people who, like me, are obsessed with books and think about them constantly.  And at the time, I was looking for some fresh reading to occupy my time while I was at home for Christmas.  So I decided to give Darkfever a whirl.  And then I discovered that I couldn't put the series down.

The protagonist, Mac, travels to Ireland to find out who murdered her sister.  She discovers that she's a sidhe-seer, someone who can sense fae (fairies) and their sacred objects--as was her sister.  Turns out, there is someone out there intent on bringing down the walls between the realms, unleashing the dangerous Unseelie fae on the human world.  The mystery of who killed Mac's sister and why drives the overall arc of the series; four books later, and we're still not entirely sure.  Everyone lies, everyone hides things, everyone has ulterior motives.  Mac doesn't know who to trust, and neither does the reader.  As for this Jericho Z. Barrons everyone keeps talking about: he's dark, he's mysterious, he's enigmatic, and it's not entirely clear whether he's a good guy or a bad guy.  Oh, I know what I think.  But I can see why Mac doesn't trust him.  (But I just love me some bad boys...fictionally, at least.)

I devoured the first four installments, and then I jumped back to the beginning and re-read them almost instantly to catch the stuff I missed.  (One of my worst habits is reading so quickly that I miss details.)  Yet here I am, still nearly three weeks to go before the release of Shadowfever...and I'm going nuts.  I'm obsessing.  Not long ago, I compared the end of Carolyn Crane's Double Cross to The Empire Strikes Back--hugely surprising ("Holy shit, Darth Vader is Luke's father!"), but definitely a calm-before-the-storm kind of thing.  The end of Dreamfever, the last book, was more like a "Who shot J.R.?" kind of thing--except that we know whodunnit, just not to whom.  I can only imagine how people have been waiting since Dreamfever was published in August of 2009 must have felt.  But in a way, maybe that was easier.  I mean, you ended the book knowing it was gonna be a year or so before the final act was published.  You're forced to move on with your life, start doing other things, have relationships with other books.  But for me, I'm so close...yet so far away.  (As you can probably guess, I just finished my re-read of Dreamfever today.)

It's not healthy.

And so now, I'm forcing myself to think of things I can do to take my mind off of the Fever series for the next...16 days, 7 hours, and 51 minutes.  *Sigh*

1. Revise, revise, revise.  Uhhh, didn't I just like...write a novel, or something?
2. Rediscover the lost art of cinema.  You know, it's been awhile since I've seen a good movie.  (Unfortunately, When in Rome, the movie I just finished, didn't qualify on any level.)
3. Read other books.  I hear Moning has another series.  Ummm, but that probably won't help much.
4. Get a mani/pedi.  It's been a long time since I've indulged in one of these.  Full mani/pedi should take at least an hour.  Which will leave me with only...16 days, 6 hours, and 51 minutes. 
5. Play with my cat.  She's been having separation anxiety issues ever since I got back from visiting my family for Christmas.  A good option all around.  She'll be happy and purr-y, and I'll be less inclined to think about Shadowfever.  Of course, by the end of it, my chest and arms will look like they've been gouged with a fork where she dug her claws in.  I really need to trim those things.  Ouch.
6. Date.  I hear that young people often go out on these things called "dates," wherein they engage in dinner and conversation with another individual to determine whether they are sexually attracted to one another.  If they are, they don't generally have sex, but they may think about it a lot more.  It's an odd, foreign concept to me, but perhaps it's something I should try.  I may, as a matter of fact, be going out with a potentially eligible person next weekend.  I wonder if he's read the series...
7. Dental visits.  It's well past time for my semi-annual cleaning.  And I do have a molar that needs crowned...
8. Getting back to my roots...kind of.  In the series, Mac dyes her hair black to avoid recognition.  I wonder how I'd look with raven hair.  (In all likelihood, pale and splotchy.  I don't think black hair will work with blue eyes and freckles.)
9. Cooking.  Since I live alone, it's not often that I indulge in home booking, but I think it's about time, don't you.  There's some recipes in the back of Dreamfever...
10. Writing really stupid blog entries about all the things I'm going to do not to think about the series.  Quite effective, really.  This took, like, 15 minutes.  Only 16 days, 7 hours, and 38 minutes to go.  *Sigh*